3 Things You Can Do to Help Someone Be More Open to Therapy
When someone is resistant to therapy, their reasoning usually makes a lot of sense in their head. In order to change their minds you have to make just as much sense. There are three main strategies that you can use to help someone overcome their resistance to therapy. You can use one, two or all three depending on what the person’s main objections are.
Educate
Often, people are resistant to therapy based on misconceptions or misunderstandings. Find out what they are worried about and help them understand why that is probably not a necessary concern.
One common thing to teach people about is confidentiality, that is that therapists are legally required to keep the client’s information confidential in all but a very few specific situations.
Another fact that is less well known is that therapists are ethically bound to consider their clients to be the experts on themselves. That means that a therapist will adopt the goals that you bring to therapy, leaving out their own agenda and personal views.
Another fact that follows is that therapists will not make a habit of telling you what to do. Instead, they will help you think through what you want to do and how you can go about doing it despite whatever obstacles stand in your way.
Compromise
Some people are averse to therapy because of the very real financial, emotional and time costs. Finding ways to reduce the cost for them can help make therapy a more realistic option.
If you are asking someone to take up a new task or challenge, consider offering to take something else off their plate, to make the effort a little easier.
Sometimes asking the question “What would it take?” can be really helpful. This will really clarify what a person would need to happen for them to consider therapy and may allow you to clear the way for them.
If need be, negotiate a deal with the person. This could be a reward in response to a trial of three therapy sessions or completion of a two-month program.
Control
Part of what makes therapy challenging is the lack of control people often feel in a new place or when trying a new activity. A lack of control often produces anxiety, while a sense of control allows people to feel safe and secure. Consider a few ways to help a person know they are in control when it comes to therapy.
Remind them that therapy is client guided, which means they always have the freedom to direct the session towards or away from certain topics.
Give the resistance person as many helpful choices as you can. Allow them to pick the time, place, and therapeutic process. Let them decide what age, gender, and personality type they might connect with in a therapist. At times, it may even be helpful to allow them to pick between therapy and other helpful processes like life coaching, mentorship or a peer support group.
Let people feel free to give therapy a try and back out if need be. Feel free to try as many therapists as you need to, in order to find the right fit. Most therapists offer a free 15-minute phone call. Use this time to connect with the therapist and see if you think they would be a good fit for who you are and what you are working through.
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About the Author
Caleb Elder, MA, LPCC
Therapist at LifeSketch
Therapist | Career Counselor
Caleb has helped many teens and young adults overcome obstacles and deal with problems in their lives. Many clients that Caleb sees start out being less than interested in therapy, but end up sticking around after they experience how transformative therapy can be.
