10 Excuses Your Loved One Uses to Avoid Therapy
Have you ever felt stuck, helplessly watching someone struggle as a crisis looms in their life? You know that therapy could be a game changer for them, but they aren’t willing to do it. As therapists, we know that doing the work of therapy is hard and the investment required is not insignificant! So when we find out someone is resistant to therapy, we are not surprised. Seriously, going to a strange place and sitting alone in a room with a stranger who expects you to share your deepest secrets? It makes sense to be a little concerned about the process!
We find, over and over again, that understanding why someone is resistant and empathizing with their reasoning is the first step towards getting them the help they need. Here are some of the most common reasons that someone is resistant to therapy.
“Going to therapy would mean admitting to myself and others that I think I have a serious mental disorder.”
“Nothing ever works,” or, “the last time I tried therapy it didn’t work.”
“I’m afraid that the process of changing and facing my past will be too painful.”
“I admit this situation is problematic, but it's kind of working for me right now…”
“How could talking about my feelings possibly help?”
“I’d have to sacrifice time, money, or energy to invest in therapy and I’m just not willing to do that.”
“I feel guilty that my problems are causing other people to worry or spend more money on me.”
“If other people find out I’m going to therapy, they will judge me.”
“Once my therapist hears what I have to say, they will judge me and know how messed up I am.”
“I wouldn’t know what to talk about or do in therapy. It makes me anxious.”
All these reasons are actually more than excuses. They express a need, a fear or, a reality for that person. Understanding why they are making the excuse can help you know how to support them in a way that opens up the path towards therapy.
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About the Author
Caleb Elder, MA, LPCC
Therapist at LifeSketch
Therapist | Career Counselor
Caleb has helped many teens and young adults overcome obstacles and deal with problems in their lives. Many clients that Caleb sees start out being less than interested in therapy, but end up sticking around after they experience how transformative therapy can be.
